Air Conditioning

I used to get head colds and sinus infections in Winter.  But now, thanks to modern air conditioning, I can  suffer from them in Summer, too.

Earth is 9000 Years Old!

I did not realize until just a few moments ago that our Earth is 9000 years old, and it was created in six days.  So says Rep. Paul C. Broun, a republican from Georgia.  He is a member of a key congressional science advisory committee,  so he must know what he's taking about.

He also refers to evolution, embryology and the Big Bang theory as "all lies straight from the pit of Hell."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/07/bill-nye-paul-broun-science-space-technology_n_1947125.html

Help Our Airlines Save Fuel

Airlines are struggling with the ever-increasing cost of fuel. They've started to charge passengers to check baggage. Let's think of other ways they can stay aloft in this turbulent economy:

1. Charge passengers a fee that's proportional to the total weight of the passenger plus all his/her baggage, both carry on and checked.


2. Offer passengers stationary bicycles and other exercise machines to prevent DVT, but secretly use the machines to drive electrical generators, which can power such non-essential systems as entertainment, lighting and navigation.


3. Offer passengers free refreshments in the terminal. Lace the refreshments with laxatives and diuretics. ^{1, 2}
   

What can you do personally? Why not leave the heavy luggage behind? Just choose baggy clothing to wear at your destination, and put it all on before you leave your home. Better yet, don't even bother bringing extra clothes. Just buy your change of clothes at your destination.

With lots of creative planning, we can yet again save our beloved airline industry.

---

¹ Empty passengers are lighter.
² Whatever they leave behind can be used as bio-fuel.

Time Magazine Person of the Year (What Else?)

As soon as I heard that Time Magazine's Person of the Year (POTY) was "Me," I knew I had another sarcastic blog entry to write. By now, this entry is but one of many that pokes fun at Time. And if you want to listen to great commentary on the topic, redirect your browser to today's commentary by Bill Langworthy on NPR's All Things Considered.

I'd rather not waste much content on Time. POTY noise actually rewards Time in the end, even if it's criticism. I just want to point out that choosing me as POTY (along with hundreds of thousands MySpace teenagers who are either horny or lonely or both) was plain laziness. If Time had done a little research, they'd've discovered the term blogosphere, which might've led them to this special issue of Communications of the ACM. And somewhere in this two-year-old, well-researched set of papers would be the person or team responsible for creating the technology that enables us POTY winners to blog.

If it sounds like I'm angry at Time, it's because I am. Aren't I supposed to receive some monetary award? Because I didn't. Hello?

Media's Portrayal of MGM vs Grokster

The media's soundbites on the Supreme Court's decision on MGM vs. Grokster would have you think that the movie industry "won." You get the impression that the next news item might be:

Emboldened by its victory over Grokster and StreamCast Networks, the music industry announced two new lawsuits. The first is directed at the Internet. "Grokster's illegal activity was made possible by the Internet," music industry spokesman Don Verrilli said. "It's totally without merit," responded the self-proclaimed inventor of the Internet, Al Gore.

The second lawsuit was filed against the Almighty Creator. "In creating the Universe, the Almighty established certain fundamental constructs, which enabled the phenomena upon which the Internet and Grokster are based. This cannot go unpunished." The Almighty had no response.

In fact, the Supreme Court merely overturned the decision by 9th Circuit Court of Appeals that ruled that the file sharing software was legal. The Appellate court's decision was based on the 1984 Sony Betamax case, which the Supreme Court said could not applied to the case.

The Supreme Court's decision doesn't mean that Grokster and StreamCast Networks's Morpheus are now illegal. Instead, it means that the case will need to be retried. MGM will have to demonstrate that Grokster and StreamCast Networks actively induced its customers to use the software for copyright infringement.

For more facts on MGM vs. Grokster and StreamCast Networks, please visit IEEE-USA's copyright infringement policy page.

Note: The articles at the following web pages were referenced for this blog post:

• IEEE-USA's News Release Supreme Court Adopts IEEE-USA’s Balanced Position in MGM vs. Grokster Electronic File-Sharing Case: Protects Innovation, While Limiting Illegal Activities


• Wired's Grokster Loss Sucks for Tech

Deadly Body Odor

Yet another example of misuse of technology -- the Genetically Altered Scent project.

Researchers discovered a way to modify the DNA of a common bacterium so that the waste it produces has a pleasing scent. The idea was to introduce this strain of bacterium into the armpit regions of test subjects, who would be required to forgo deodorants, antiperspirants and anti-bacterial soap for a ten day period. At the end of the study, the subjects would don a cotton pad under each armpit and perform some light exercise. The pads (along with pads from a control group) would be sniffed by another group of participants who would designate each pad as either "pleasing" or "disagreeable."

If the study was successful, Genetically Altered Scent, or GAS, would usher in a new line of designer fragrances.

Unfortunately, the study had to be halted due to a complication. About thirty percent of the participants who hosted the modified bacteria developed a severe rash. A few of these actually had to be hospitalized and undergo intravenous antibiotic therapy. Apparently one of the modified genes turned the bacterium into an aggressive organism, similar to deadly flesh-eating varieties. Luckily no one died or suffered permanent damage.

Douglas Adams

Many events and influences led to my starting this blog. As this is day number 42 of 2005, it seems appropriate to mention Douglas Adams.

Mr. Adams is well known in geek circles for authoring "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." What I like best about his works is that they're filled with humorous examples of how technology fails. The more sophisticated it is, the more utterly infuriating it becomes to operate. And it fails us at the most inopportune times.

One of my favorite examples of this is the motion-activated radio on board the Heart of Gold. You don't even need to get up to change the channels or mute it. On the other hand, you have to sit awfully still if you don't want to change it inadvertently. Obviously the engineer who came up with that idea wasn't too fond of dancing.

If you think that's silly, consider the earliest CD players. (And at the risk of showing my age, remember their precursors, vinyl?) You certainly couldn't jump around too much without causing the player to skip. So audio equipment was anchored to walls, and the individual components placed on foam isolators.

Another example. How many of you cell phone users have repeatedly said, "I can hear you. Can you hear me?" Pretty soon we'll see phones equipped with the popular ICHY button, which will automate this. Come to think of it, why stop there? Why not have these buttons, too:

"I'm fine. And you?"
"Hi! How are you?"
"This is true."
"Cool!"
"Whatever"
"Can't make it then. How about next Tuesday?"
"Bye"
"See you, later."
"Take care."

If those last three seem vaguely familiar to you, does the term "sig" or "signature" help?

Before I end this entry, I'd like to encourage you to point your browser to the online Guide, hosted by the BBC, which you'll find here.

Bye. See you later. Take care. Whatever.