Help Our Airlines Save Fuel

Airlines are struggling with the ever-increasing cost of fuel. They've started to charge passengers to check baggage. Let's think of other ways they can stay aloft in this turbulent economy:

1. Charge passengers a fee that's proportional to the total weight of the passenger plus all his/her baggage, both carry on and checked.


2. Offer passengers stationary bicycles and other exercise machines to prevent DVT, but secretly use the machines to drive electrical generators, which can power such non-essential systems as entertainment, lighting and navigation.


3. Offer passengers free refreshments in the terminal. Lace the refreshments with laxatives and diuretics. ^{1, 2}
   

What can you do personally? Why not leave the heavy luggage behind? Just choose baggy clothing to wear at your destination, and put it all on before you leave your home. Better yet, don't even bother bringing extra clothes. Just buy your change of clothes at your destination.

With lots of creative planning, we can yet again save our beloved airline industry.

---

¹ Empty passengers are lighter.
² Whatever they leave behind can be used as bio-fuel.