When I was a boy, my shoes and sneakers never wore out. Sure I would outgrow them when I was in elementary school, but by the time I was a fully-fledged teenager my feet stopped growing, and I wore the same footwear. In fact, I still can fit into the same shoes, sneakers and boots that I wore in high school.1 So the only things that needed replacing were the shoelaces.
Remember how shoelaces broke? I do. It would be a big inconvenience. It would happen just as I was getting ready to leave the house to go somewhere important, not when I was stepping outside just to kick or throw some ball around.
These days I never have to replace the laces. Why is that? Are laces now made from a superior material? Perhaps.
But perhaps not. I think the reason is that the shoes would break before the laces did. Right? Have you noticed that sneakers don't have eyelets anymore? They don't even have holes for the laces! Instead, they have a loop of slightly elastic fabric through which to pass the laces. What flimsy garbage!
I'm convinced that if we bring eyelets back, we will make America great again.
So, MEGA -- Make Eyelets Great Again!
1 I have/had a pair of hiking boots that I wore every day in high school. (I imagined that I was Aragon; in fact I almost bought a cloak.) Thirty to forty years later I'd wear these boots occasionally. The "have/had" arises from a recent purging my wife did of "all this old stuff on the porch."
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